Saturday, July 29, 2006

Those Stupid Names!!! Cities, That Is!

There are dumb names all over sports.  And I'm not talking about the Los Angeles "Lakers", Utah "Jazz" or "Houston Texans".  I'm talking about the name of the team.  Not the nickname...the first name.

Normal protocol states that you use the city's name....or if a suburb of a city, the metro city it surrounds [like the Detroit Pistons play in nearby Auburn Hills, Michigan].   In the NFL, it is okay to use a regional name...since NFL teams truely are a more regional event than, say, baseball or basketball....in most cases.

So, below are the ones that chap my butt!

14-UTAH.  Utah has the Jazz....and, well, when you think Utah, you think Salt Lake City [or sandy hills where mormons hide their polygamy].  It's just easier to say "Utah" than saying the "Salt Lake City Jazz". 

13-NEW ENGLAND.  I won't split hairs on this one.  Two things work in their favor.  One, only the NFL team gets called that [oh, and for the record, I'm not counting MLS or anything like that] and that team plays in Foxboro.  While the Celtics, Bruins and Red Sox get love all over New England...only the Patriots get that name.  But, since there are a little ways from Beantown....I'll excuse it. 

12-TENNESSEE.  I can excuse this one since the Titans found Memphis and Nashville home.  Still, Tennessee football really involves orange. 

11-ARIZONA.  Same this here.  Phoenix has the Suns and Coyotes...but pull the "Arizona" tag for the Cardinals and Diamondbacks.   And the Coyotes and Cards play in the same Phoenix suburb. 

10-COLORADO.  This one is odd.  In theory, football teams use the regional moniker more often than the other sports.  But the Colorado Rockies and Colorado Avalanche use the name while the Nuggets and Broncos just use "Denver".  It is just odd since "Colorado" seems like an adjective in those names.  Like the mountain region....the Colorado Rockies....or a disaster in that region...the Colorado Avalanche.

9-INDIANA.  Same thing here.  Why are the Colts called "Indianapolis" and the Pacers are "Indiana"?  It should be the other way around.  Really, it may as well be the Indiana Colts. 

8-MINNESOTA.  Not too much of a gripe here either.  But...all four of their teams are named "Minnesota", as is the local college team.  The Timberwolves, Vikings and Twins all play in Minneapolis and the Wild play in St Paul.  Why not just use the city once?  It worked for the Minneapolis Lakers. 

7-TEXAS.  No offense, but you are the Dallas Rangers.  Just accept it.  Texas is too big of a state to claim your own....especially when the Houston Astros have been there longer and been more sucessful.  They played in the state-of-the-art Astrodome for years.  The Rangers played in a converted minor league stadium.  And spare me the "well they play in Arlington" crap.  The Dallas Cowboys play in nearby Irving [and are trying to build a new stadium in Arlington] and they don't call themselves the Texas Cowboys.  Heck, they have more of a right to do so than anyone. 

6-NEW JERSEY.  Jersey is home to FOUR pro teams....but only two get the moniker.  And only one of the two, the Devils, wasn't a New York team previous.  The Nets were a New York team....then were named New Jersey when the NBA absorbed four ABA teams...and will be the Brooklyn Nets at some point in the future.  The only thing that bothers me about "New Jersey" is that is seems only the Devils get love from the rest of the state.   

5-FLORIDA.  There are the Florida Marlins and Florida Panthers.....yet there are baseball and hockey teams in Tampa Bay too.  What's wrong with being the "Miami Marlins" or "Miami Panthers"???  The Dolphins and Heat work it well....and they are the elderstatesmen. 

4-CAROLINA.  Here is what chaps me about this.  There are two Carolina teams.....and they play in completely different cities.  The Carolina Panthers play in Charlotte...the state's largest city which is on the state line with South Carolina.  The Carolina Hurricanes play in Raleigh, the state capital which lies near the coast.  Charlotte and Raleigh really don't like each other much.  Charlotte still views Raleigh as a minor league town since hockey doesn't stir up that much emotion in the rest of the state.....and Raleigh laughs at Charlotte since the center of the North Carolina sports scene lies in the Triangle were the ACC rules.  And, still, when anyone says "Carolina" in the state.....it still means the Tar Heels.  Oh yeah....Carolina also implies South Carolina...and no one really cares about them. 

3-NEW YORK.  See Jersey above.  How can you be called the New York Jets or New York Giants when you don't play in the state or city??  You are across the river in New Jersey!  I know, it may as well by New York.  Yeah, but still.  That's like the St Louis Cardinals playing in western Illinois, the Cincinnati Bengals playing in northern Kentucky, or the Detroit Red Wings playing in Windsor, Ontario. 

2-GOLDEN STATE.  This one makes no sense.  Why not the "Oakland Warriors"??  Why "Golden State"??  I know it's the state nickname...but you are one of FOUR NBA teams in the state.  And you suck....even with the Clippers and Kings there.  And if any NBA team would claim to be the state's team....it would be the Lakers.  Also, I was for the Raiders being named this so they could split games in Oakland and Los Angeles. 

1-ANAHEIM.  Those Orange County people sure are weird.  They have two dumb sports team names.  Call it the Yoda Syndrome.  On once side, there is the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim.  Cute.  Name your hockey team after a Disney movie.  Why not the "Yankees of New York"?  Fine, it is your niche.  But then you screw around and call yourself the "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim".  What?  Using the New York theme again...can we just call the NY Giants the "New York Football Giants of New Jersey"???  Same thing.

1 comment:

monponsett said...

You'd get a kick out of Foxboro... you could pluck a man out of the Yukon wilderness who had never seen anything but tundra before, put him in Foxboro.... and he'd have seen all there was to see in like 35 minutes. The only difference between Foxboro and Monponsett is that Foxboro got a stadium while we got a nature reserve.