Sunday, March 19, 2006

I Am Gonna Hang Myself At Applebees

                               

Ya know, the best thing about those Super Bowl commercials is that even if they suck....you are only subjected to them once during the game.  Not so in March Madness!

The drawback of having the Mega March Madness package from DirecTV is that you get FOUR times the commercials.  And since the same ad space is sold in each game...you usually see the exact same commercials back-to-back when flipping thru the games [the same thing happens during the NFL Sunday Ticket]. 

So, here is my takes on those commercials....and I thank Allah that CBS isn't promoting a movie like they did last year ["Spring Break Shark Attack"...."Locusts"....and "Elvis"]. 

APPLEBEES:  Oh my God.....I am about at the brink of killing myself if I see that freaking Shrimp platter commercial for Applebees again.  I swear, I about lost it once...during the 100th time [and that may not be an exaggeration] I saw that freakin' thing!  For those who don't know....two lame guys strum a Shrimp song for Applebees, using the Gilligan's Island theme song as their parody.  Nothing scrapes my noggin like the "three hour t-our" part.  Oh man...please make it stop!!!

STATE FARM NERD:  And someone shoot that idiot at State Farm.  Ya know, dude with the orange and blue paint and screaming BOO-YAH about his insurance coverage.  Nothing is worse than his little dance at the end.  Ouch!

NO COFFEE IS THAT GOOD:  And, McDonald's....why would coffee remind me that I am married??  And how would I not know I was married before drinking your coffee??  And is this new McD's coffee the new afrodisiac?? 

CINGULAR GUYS:  Ya know, I like seeing those Cingular guys at the game again.  But, how lame is the "you don't have March Madness....you have March Sadness" line???  Wow.  But, I will admit that the "Hey, It's"ad is pretty funny.

I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE, MAN:  Great.  Then stay in a better hotel.

SOUTHWEST AIRLINES:  I usually roll on the "wanna get away for a while" ads....but overinflating a basketball is that embarassing??  And the trampoline ad is soooo last year.

ENTERPRISE RENT A CAR:  Sorry, but the "lookin' good, Moose" ad will never get old for me.  Never.  Heck, they still have the "class of '94" line in the beginning of the ad.  And it's nice to see where the dumb Capital One guy came from.   Also, they have the soccer commercial....and the guy with the green foam finger.  Eck.

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER:  Nope, still not watching it.  And I don't think I'm gonna watch the "New thing about the Old Elaine Show". 

COACH K IS HOCKING CHEVYS:  Last year, I had to see your mug on Amex cards....this year you gotta sell me Chevys.  Never saw Dean Smith do all of that.

IT'S NOT DELIVERY!!  Okay, I love the one with the guy calling his wife who's inside the house to break out a DiGiorno's Pizza.  The Dickie V commercials have fallen flat after the first few years of watching them.  But, guys....what's the big deal about not being delivery??  I mean, if I had a DiGiorno's Pizza right now....I wouldn't try to hide that fact from my buddies. 

THE MIDAS DOGS:  Shouldn't Fred Flintstone go to Payless Shoes for new brakes??

GET THAT WEAK TOT ACTION OUTTA HERE:  Yeah, if I only knew where a Sonic's was. 

THE MILLER LITE REVOLUTION:  Okay, what is this?  A dude and a chick on the beach.   And.....

BODY WASH, I THINK:  She asks her man....who's taking a shower....which of her friends that he would get with.  Why do women ask crap like that?  Guys, would you ask your wife/girlfriend which one of your buddies she'd like to do?? 

BIG BUCKIN' CHICKEN:  To this day, my wife and I cry laughing at this.  Some people hate it, I know....but it just gets us every time.  Listen to the song here.....Big Buckin' Chicken

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have to ask your husband which of your friends he would bang about once a year.

The only correct way to answer this question is to suddenly slip in the shower and bash your head open. Anything other than that  can and will  be used against you....

Anonymous said...

Not only were the commercials ubiquitous but CBS's coverage has been less than stellar.  Among many arguments that could be made for ESPN bidding on the tournament is showing more than 1 game at a time. I found myself checking out the scores in the corner of the screen wondering when they were going to take me to the game that was coming down to the final seconds and only a 2 point differential.  Even when they did switch games we were welcomed to a time out and quickly taken back to the other game, even though it was still the first half.
I am not saying that the games were not exciting. On the contrary, they were but I want the ability to pick my own game without having to go to my local bar.
ESPN, make a bid on this tournament and make it the showcase that it should be.

Anonymous said...

Spiffy,

I hear ya bruh, which is one of the reasons I got DirecTV and the Mega March Madness.  I have that ability that you desperately want.  I am a UNC fan living in Northern Kentucky-Greater Cincinnati, so I had to see Cincinnati, Kentucky, Indiana, Louisville, Xavier, etc instead of my game.  Since I didn't have to watch the local game like that....I didn't get to notice how badly the switches to the games were [I did notice that every game I watched, when it "welcomed" in audiences from other games....they were either in a timeout, or a timeout was coming].

I'm telling you, the Mega March Madness and NFL Sunday Ticket are reasons alone to get DirecTV.

-Sportz