Monday, November 21, 2005

Dookies We Loved To Hate

With J.J. Redick on AOL Sports: Sports Bloggers Live tonight....it gets one [especially a Carolina fan] to wonder about all the other Dookies that chapped our hides....and Coack K is omitted from this list.

                  
                                      "Oh my God!!  I am soooo fabulous!!!"

1-Christian Laettner
Oh, how we hated him.  "Christy" Laettner was the ring leader of the hated Devils.  His lisping, chest stomping style bit a tad worse since his teams actually won.  He hit two huge NCAA tournament shots in route to two NCAA Tournament titles...one of which [1991] was right in front of our Tar Heel noses.  Of course, the greatest Dook player ever tanked in the pros...bringing his whining style with him and crying out of so many towns.

       

2-Cameron Crazies
Nothing is more anoying than these morons.  Don't get me wrong....there is nothing better than watching a Carolina-Duke game in Cameron.  I can get with the cheers and their ritualistic chants [that most Heels know better than the Crazies do].  But I hate their spastic ways and dumb get ups.  These are supposed to be the smartest people of their age group...and they use such knowledge to gut open a basketball, cut out some eyes and wear a blue cape?  It is liking watching those band geeks making out with other band geeks and thinking they are cool.  I wonder of Richard Nixon was a Cameron Crazy??

                          

3-Bobby Hurley
Hurley was easy to hate...since he was the human equivalent to a rat.  He looked like a Special Olympian on the court and played tougher than he really was.  Of course, a bad case of the "bubble-guts" during the 1990 NCAA title game threw him near the top of the hated list.  He'd try to pick fights....then run and hide when opponents wanted a piece of him.  He ruined his NBA career by running his car into a ditch.

                           
                                         "I'm open!!  I'm always open!!!"

4-JJ Redick
It is easy to point to his cockiness....but I hate him for his game.  He thinks he is God....but comes up lame in big games in his career.  Sure, hitting 3s all over Boston U is all good....but maybe do it against North Carolina or in the NCAAs.  It reminds me of a line in Happy Gilmore [which I am about to butcher.  "I bet you can make a good living going around and getting in long rangecontests"  Same with Redick.  He will get to the NBA...but will be little more than a long range guy who cannot defend, handle the ball or do anything else

                     

5-Danny Ferry
Of course, anyone with the name "Ferry" for Duke is an easy target.  But he was All World at Duke and was Coach K's greatest discovery -  bringing in white kids who looked like they were middle aged plays over really well!  But nothing was better than when he said "screw you" to the Clippers [whodrafted him #2 overall] so he could play for Real Madrid.  He should have stayed there...as his NBA career was garbage.

                      
                             "Can I change my last name to K???"

6-Chris Collins
Here is the kicker on him....you can still hate him!  He was, at best, a 6th option for Dook who got a shot at being an assistant coach.  Yet, if he hit one shot in a game....he celebrated as if he hit that game winner over Kentucky in 1992.  He brings the same emotion to the coaching ranks....even baiting former Tar Heel coach Matt Doherty into sparring battle in an ACC tournament game.

                                          

7-Cherokee Parks
He was easier to hate since he manned that "horrible" Duke team of 1995.  Of course, the Herman Munster takes were funny at the time [and still are], nothing is funnier than seeing his colorful tatts all over his pimple filled arms

                               

8-Shane Battier
As my wife says.....hot-dog head.

                          

9-Sheldon Williams
Wait...I can't make fun of people with birth defects.  Dude, why are all your facial features dead smack in the middle of your face??

10-Steve Wojohoshocowshowstoppinkryzzski
This little ball of fire would make one layup....then slap down on the floor like anyone was supposed to be scared.  Oh, and like Chris Collins, he has landed on K's bench.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hey carolina fan:
                      just a few things. first of all, i will assure you i'm no duke fan. you assail laettner for being "whiny" which may very well be true- though carolina fans and your god, dean smith, are the quintessence of whininess.  laettner, hated as he was, was absolute ice when it came to pressure moments. there was, of course, the 1992 final eight game against kentucky, the final eight game against
connecticut in 1990 and his scintillating performance against UNLV in the final four in '91- to name a few.  and jj redick, great, great college player.  doesn't come up big in big games ? tell that to ncsu in '03 acc tourney or any other team that's played against him in acc tourney. as for his pro prospects, yeah maybe he will become nothing more than a long-range specialist in nba.  can you say hubert davis ?  and lastly, while the cameron crazies are an exceedingly obnoxious and bullying bunch, they are certainly in no danger of sam cassell showing up at arena
with a picnic basket bearing a fine chateaubriand and an assortment of complementary cheeses.  good luck to your boys this year.  

Anonymous said...

I am a Dookie, and proud of it. You want to talk about  Duke players and fans as you would like to be one! Sorry we dont take losers. Laettner, Hurley, Reddick, Ferry, Collins, Parks, Battier, Williams, last but not least our Crazies , have a winning record that ant team including UNC Tarbabbies would cheat to own . Maybe you will grow up and understand DUKE BLUE IS A WINNING color is that something else for Carolina blue to hate