With the DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket comes the RED ZONE CHANNEL. The channel takes you to games when teams are getting ready to score. Needless to say, the channel has turned into a one stop shop for all the lastest endzone dances.
So how do I feel on the matter?
I'm a hypocrite.
Honestly, I laugh my butt off on some of them. I loved Steve Smith's "Sit Down And Talk On My Football Cell Phone To Tell People I See Myself On An Invisible TV" celebration. I loved Clinton Portis' cartwheels. I wasn't offended by Randy Moss' moon. Chad Johnson's "Lord Of The Dance" take was pretty nice. And I am a sucker for the "bowling celebration" during The Longest Yard.
At the same time....they make me cringe as well. I saw Terrell Owens take his towel off, drape it on his arm, and posed as a waiter. I saw someone else use the football as a chainsaw to cut down the goal post. And I saw Chad Johnson do, well, something after catching what turned out to be an incomplete pass. This came a week after he planned to do a hoe-down dance if he scored in Tennessee.
I am both ways on this issue. I personally like them. I mean, if soccer-guy can run around the field and throw his shirt off like he was given a bazillion dollars....then why can't football-guy?
Then I think of celebrations in American sport. In baseball, it is "rude" to celebrate when scoring...say by jacking one out. Though, there are the Sosa Step, Bichette Electro Charge and Griffey Stare. But you don't see Bonds running over to the stands and doing a big production number after hitting one out. In hockey, they do the ol' fist-pump and/or leg kick. Everyone slaps mullets and we move on. In the NBA....well, there are some celebrations. The flex. The knucklehead. The Shaq eye-bug and strut. The Kobe head-shake. The Shawn Kemp point [which I think is followed by "are you my kid?"]. Or, the classic Zo Yell and tremors. But you don't see a big dunk or a huge 3-pointer followed by a guy jumping on the scorers table and doing a Lord Of The Rings Dance.
But, maybe they should. This IS entertainment...and it is entertaining to people. I mean, ESPN's NFL Primetime and HBO's Inside the NFL makes these a vital part of their post-week shows. But, the NFL doesn't. In the NFL "Short Cuts" and NFL "Highlights On Demand" they edit these celebrations out.
I guess where I really draw the line is with props. No sharpies. No cell phones. No towels. No signs. Give me the Spiderman back. The Lambeau Leap. The Goal Post Punching Bag. The Worm. The FG Dunk. The Nestea Splash. The Dice Roll. The "Warming Your Hands In the Football Fire". Even "The Ball Is Stuck To My Hands" trick which, I admit, in pickup football games I even do. Or the "Heath Miller drop the ball to the turf". Or the "Barry Sanders Hand The Ball To The Official."
I'm just sure next week I will see a guy score a TD....grab a teammate....and do a ballroom dance.
Then I'll be wishing for Sharpies.