Kobe Bryant Is The TEEN WOLF

                    

If you are between the ages of 25 and 35...you know about some Teen Wolf. 

Well, Bill Simmons [the resident Chowd that's not named Peter Gammons at ESPN.com] wrote an interesting piece on how Celtics coach Doc Rivers sucks.  Somehow, he links that to how Kobe Bryant is a ballhog and then drops this nugget:

"There's an illusion of team play in place (the triangle, a set rotation, role players at every position), so none of the Lakers realize that Kobe is the wolf from "Teen Wolf" and they're basically the "Other Guys.""

I litterally "LOLed" at the analogy.  It's funny...yet true.  If you know the movie, you know that once The Wolf steps onto the court...he is unstoppable.  Even by his own team.  He dunks, breaks ankles, boards and handles like Jordan.  He even steals the dribble from his teammates and scores buckets as if these guys are just there to take the ball out for him.  Essentially, turning into a Wolf makes you one heck of a hoops player.  Meanwhile, the Wolf's coach just sits back, eats hard boiled eggs, and dispenses useless knowlege that makes "everything else cream cheese."  All Phil Jackson needs is some eggs to eat.

Otherwise, the analogy is pretty much true.  As a Laker fan, I will defend Kobe's game to no end.  But, on a team with pretty much a D+ roster of role players....Kobe must take the game over for the Lakers to win.  Success in Laker Town is Kobe going off and hoping that someone else will get hot that night to support him.  But, hey, it works.  The Lakers have a pretty good record when Kobe goes off on these massive point outputs....while the Sixers struggle even with Allen Iverson carrying the load.  Just like Teen Wolf, it is Kobe Time and everyone else just gets out of the way.

Of course, the problem occurs when Michael J Fox doesn't want to be the Wolf anymore...and the guys have to suck it up and all get involved to beat that Soviet team [well, they weren't Soviet....but weren't all pasty white movie athletes in the 1980s Russians???].   Well, in LA....if the Wolf don't show up, the Lakers don't win.

And just like the Wolf, the organization turns a blind eye to Kobe's flaws since they are winning.  I mean....dude's a freaking werewolf!!!!!  But, as long as he can make those dunks....chicks dig it.  Sure, Kobe can be a jerk...but that's okay as long as he's pouring in the points. 

         

Here is my tangent......what about that Teen Wolf??  Was that the worst basketball ever filmed or what?

I mean, there isn't one ounce of athleticism on that court in the entire movie.  Everyone dribbles with their right hand....while staring at the floor.  Sure, every so often a nice play gets made.....but then they have to loop it in the film about 6 more times.  No, I wasn't expecting the insane Rucker Park rip off that made Above The Rim stunning to watch.....but I was expecting Jimmy Chitwood to run on the court and say to the Wolf that he'll "make it." 

Of course, the best scene in the movie was at the dance....when the synthesised music gets cranking and everyone does the Teen Wolf dance.  Ah...an 80s classic!

For other fun Teen Wolf sporting items....go to:

and McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Covering Teen Wolf: One Coach's Guide.

If you can think of other horrible hoops movies....please list them in my comments section.  I'll beat you to the punch on these:

Blue Chips.  One On One.  Like Mike.  Eddie.  The Sixth Man.  Celtic Pride.