Sunday, August 1, 2004

Ricky Rather Burn the Hippie Lettuce

I earlier wrote about how disappointed I was for the timing of the Ricky Williams retirement. I wrote how he screwed over the Miami Dolphins organization….its fans…and his teammates.

Well, I could care less about the Dolphins…so I was basically just putting myself in their shoes and saying “it sucks to be you.” Well, with the news about Ricky Williams and the nature of his career and his life choices….I’m glad he’s out of the NFL.

Since his “retirement”, Ricky Williams has let it be known that he is an avid pot smoker. WOW!! A pothead doesn’t feel like going to work!!?!?!?! Imagine that!!! Most of the time, that just means a job at McDonalds or some record store opens up….but this is an NFL player. One of the best athletes in all of the world. But he rather quit his job so he can concentrate on smoking the hippie lettuce.

I mean, think about that. We all have had jobs where one of our co-workers is the big weed fiend. Ya know, the guy who’s wound up for the first few hours of the day….then goes out to his car on break…comes back and his calmed for the remainder of the day. Then, you talk to them and they try to break down Gilligan’s Island to you. I can just imagine Ricky Williams on the sideline telling someone that the little dolphin on their helmets was winking at him.

Another development is the fact that he failed his 3rd drug test….so he would have been suspended for four games. Williams’ comment was “hey, I knew I was gonna retire…so I didn’t care that I failed.” He also revealed that he’d been smoking dope the entire time in the NFL and passed drug tests by using masking agents. That, again, brings me back to the gripe that Ricky could have given the Dolphins a head’s up so they could either draft or approach free agency with a different agenda.

So now Williams is setting his sights on the simpler things like chilling in Nepal or talking to rainbows. He can listen to his Grateful Dead albums….follow Phish around the county….wear those burlap sweat suits and sandals… eat Funyuns….play with his pet iguana…and watch the Food Network all day long. But, I’d be willing to bet that he’ll want to come back in a few years…and when he does, who’ll trust him?

1 comment:

monponsett said...

Isn't it funny that, during a rather costly war on drugs, a dreadlocked pothead can run for 1500 yards a year? How many Just Say No conservative backs can make that claim? I thought those drugs were supposed to hurt your game. Maybe he would have run for 3000, sober.

Imagine the commercials if Marijuana advocates were allowed to advertise in America. "Here's your brain....here's your brain after a pothead(in far better physical shape, and with faster reflexes) runs over you for 120 yards. Any questions?"

In fact, the better the back, the heavier the drug use. Weed isn't enough for Jamal Lewis. He's trying to corner the coke market. 2,000 yards, and the support of the Medellin Cartel.

If I were Dallas, I'd recruit Robert Downey Jr.