Monday, February 28, 2005


                          Deion Slinging Hot Dogs!!!

This isn’t a joke. I wish it was....but this is too true to be a joke. Click on the link above to see the website and watch the infomercial.

Deion Sanders has a hot dog cooking machine.

No jive! In the mold of George Foreman and his burger grill....Neon Deion has a his Hot Dog Express to sling to everyone. And it can be yours for $49.95!!!

What a deal!!!  Only $50 and I can have the hot dog of my dreams!!!  Heck, if I get a really long extension cord....I can sit out on the curb and sell hot dogs to passers-by for $1.  It will pay for itself in no time!!!!   Screw those Girl Scouts and their cookies. 

Have you ever been to a convenience store?? That’s seems to be what you are getting. That rolling thing where hot dogs, bratts, metts, polish sausages and other garbage that is heated by a light bulb.....that looks like the prototype for the Hot Dog Express!! Just call it the Hot Dog Incubator Rolling Thing.  That's all this weiner machine is.  A hot pan that has those rollers on it to move the hot dogs around.  I'm glad someone took the time to bring this cutting edge technology into my home. 

The difference is, at the local gas station...other people may have touched those dogs.  Probably a few flies have landed on them and laid some eggs.  Look at the well kept guy jockying the register.  He's the guy that put them there.  He might have even dropped them on the floor before getting them up there.  With the Hot Dog know what diseases you are carrying when you throw those dogs on. 

Look at the sleek design!  I can see my wife right now showing people around the kitchen.  "Microwave, fridge, coffee maker, stove, hot dog machine".  And I likethe way it can cook hot dogs, or even sausages!!  Heck, you can cut your finger off and throw it on there.  It will fully cook it!!

The seller is this..."you?ll experience a burst of flavor that will keep you from cooking your hot dogs any other way." Sign me up!!! I mean, putting them in the microwave for, what, a minute was just too stressful. I mean, it is better than boiling some water and tossing a few in there. But the Hot Dog Express website says it will take only 30 MINUTES for me to enjoy the flavor of a good ol? hot dog!!! Heck, with the Hot Dog Express, I can stop using my George Foreman Grill to cook those wieners. Hamburgers on dogs on Deion.

In all seriousness....this is the dumbest thing I?ve ever heard of. I mean, we?ve all seen the hot dog machine at Circle K, 7-11 or where else everyone goes to get gasoline for their automobiles. I mean, you get $10 in gas....pick up a pack of gum....maybe an Icee....a pack of cigs....and a couple of those heart attack hotdogs rolling around in that metal thing. Well, you can have the pleasure of eating those gas station dogs in the privacy of your own home.

Why is Deion doing this?  Is he in a money bind??  After all, he did come out of retirement to "play" for the Baltimore Ravens this past year.  He's also featured in those cell phone ads where he's small and pimping a blinged "D".  Now, he's selling hot dog machines.  Say it ain't so Deion!!  Say it ain't so!!  Also, what the hell is he wearing?  During his time in the NFL [and on CBS] he was decked in nice suits, pimped hats and laced with jewelery.  Now it looks as if he robbed Mack 10's wardrobe. Westsiiiiiiide!!!

I?m just waiting for the home fountain drink machine.

1 comment:

cobravenom71 said...

 I just ordered 2 of these 'Hot Dog Express' machines, and I can't wait to get them! One for home, and one at work!
 I love hot dogs and suasages, and I really like the flavor of a grilled dog better than a boiled or micro'd one.
 Plus, with all the kids around my house (6 of my own, plus all thier friends), this will be a cheap and easy way to keep them from raiding my fridge of all the 'real' food.