Week 2 Predictions!

Last week, I went 11-5.  This week, I hope to a bit better.

PACKERS AT LIONS:  Detroit will give Green Bay a game.  Why?  The Chewbacca Theory:  It just doesn't make sense.  Still, G-Bay takes it.  PACKERS WIN!

RAIDERS AT CHIEFS:  Did any team look worse than Oakland last week?  The Chiefs suck, too, but they did a decent job against New England last week.  CHIEFS WIN!

GIANTS AT RAMS:  Man, there are some bad teams to start off the picks, eh?  Plaxico Burress goes off on the Lambs.  GIANTS WIN!

COLTS AT VIKINGS:  The Colts are the better team and all of that ... but I think Minnesota pulls this one out.  If Matt Forte blew up Indy's defensive line, what will Adrian Peterson do?  VIKINGS WIN!

TITANS AT BENGALS:  Same thing here.  Bengals couldn't block the Ravens defensive front.  Now they get to face a better one.  TITANS WIN!

SAINTS AT REDSKINS:  I love my boys ... but how can I pick them after that horrible showing last Thursday!?!?!  SAINTS WIN!

BEARS AT PANTHERS:  This should be a close game (not a great one).  I think Carolina gets the win here.  Amazing that they could end up 2-0 without Steve Smith.  PANTHERS WIN!

BILLS AT JAGUARS:  There are a lot of people on the Buffalo bandwagon.  I'm not one of them.  JAGS WIN!

NINERS AT SEAHAWKS:  Seattle looked really bad against those Bills last week.  But the Niners aren't good enough to expose it.  SEAHAWKS WIN!

FALCONS AT BUCCANEERS:  Tampa's defense isn't what it once was ... but it is quite good enough to mess with Matt Ryan.  BUCS WIN!

PATRIOTS AT JETS:  I wanna pick New England in this one ... but I just can't.  I just don't want those Favre Fanatics to keep barking about ol' Brett.  JETS WIN!

DOLPHINS AT CARDINALS:  Miami has lost 20 of 22.  How can you pick them with odds like that?  CARDS WIN!

CHARGERS AT BRONCOS:  I do think San Diego will be itching to make a statement this week.  I also think that Denver is good enough to deal with it.  BRONCOS WIN!

STEELERS AT BROWNS:  Pittsburgh looked just as good as the Dallas Cowboys did last week.  Now they get to face Dallas' opponent.  STEELERS WIN!

EAGLES AT COWBOYS:  Philly usually plays the Cowboys tough, no matter where the game is held.  The final PHI-DAL game at Texas Stadium will end with a win for the home guys.  COWBOYS WIN!

 

Sportz Assassin's Week 1 Picks

Alright, Week 1 of the NFL season is upon us.  So, without delay ... here we go with my picks:

Redskins-Giants:  Both teams have injury issues.  The last time these two met, Washington cruised to a win.  Since then, Eli Manning has surged.  I just think this is too much for Washington right now.  GIANTS WIN.

Bengals-Ravens:  Both teams suck.  At least the Bengals are starting an Pro Bowler with a broken beak.  Ravens are starting the new fish.  BENGALS WIN.

Jets-Dolphins.  I think this will be a darn good game.  I know the Jets made some nice offseason moves, but they won just three more games than the NFL-worst Dolphins.  Still, Favre will find a way to pull this out.  JETS WIN

Chiefs-Patriots.  Are you kidding me?  PATRIOTS WIN

Texans-Steelers.  Houston is everyone's trendy darkhorse.  Yeah, I look for teams without a starting running back and a QB tandem of Matt Schaub and Sage Rosenfelds as my buzz-worthy pick.  STEELERS WIN.

Jaguars-Titans.  Interesting game.  The only thing is that David Garrard has more toys than Vince Young.  The boy with the most toys wins.  JAGS WIN

Lions-Falcons.  Why do we care?  LIONS WIN

Seahawks-Bills.  This is a game that makes us care about the Bills again.  Well, no.  But Seattle just has too much going against it right now.  BILLS WIN

Buccaneers-Saints.  Tampa should upset N'Awlins in this one.  I mean, the Saints have been in Indy practicing and not knowing what is going on with Hurricane Gustav.  I just won't bet against them right now.  SAINTS WIN.

Rams-Eagles.  The Eagles are focused ... while the Rams are just, well, not.  EAGLES WIN

Cowboys-Browns.  I'm not on the Cleveland bandwagon.  How could anyone?  COWBOYS WIN

Panthers-Chargers.  No Steve Smith for Kakalaka.  No win.  CHARGERS WIN

Cardinals-Niners.  This game is usually good in a morbid way.  Who would've thunk we'd be seeing Kurt Warner vs JT O'Sullivan?  CARDINALS WIN

Bears-Colts.  So what if the Colts will be rusty?  COLTS WIN

Vikings-Packers.  I may be one of the few people rooting for Aaron Rodgers to do well.  With all that Brett Favre mess going on, he really showed a lot by trying his best to stay out of it.  I want Green Bay to shine on Monday night.  PACKERS WIN

Broncos-Raiders.  Denver is my sleeper pick.  Oakland is still Oakland.  BRONCOS WIN

Oklahoma City Thunder ... THUNDER?

                       

The Oklahoma City Thunder.  Really?

Really?

So far, I am unimpressed.  Sure, there is already going to be some hatred from me since I don't think Seattle should have lost their SuperSonics.  But, you have to move on.

But the Thunder?

First off, guys don't like professional franchises that don't end in an "s".  I mean, we don't like the MLS or WNBA, do we?  See, they have those weird non-s-ending names.

Not to say the NBA doesn't have that (Jazz, Magic), but those names aren't horrid.  The "Thunder" sounds like a Roller Derby team.

I can already see NBA writers with their "And The Thunder Rolls ... ", "Thunder Boom", "Bringin' the Thunder", "Thunder-ous" and all the other easy headlines this name makes.  I mean, what is Thunder but a noise?  Quick hot air. 

The other is this logo.  I mean, c'mon.  I know they are all strapped for time ... but you'd think they could come up with something better than a cross between the Nets and Bobcats logos.  We all know how awesome those logos sell.

Maybe we have just run out of names for our sports teams.