If I Was Sports' Ultimate Commissioner....

I did this on the blog a looooong time ago.....and I feel the need to revisit it. 

Everyone has a laundry list of things they'd change in sports if they could.  The ol' "if I was running thangs..." chatter.  Well, reality is that none of us will.  But, we can still discuss 'em.

So here is some of my list of thing that I would do if I was deemed the ULTIMATE COMMISSIONER OVER ALL SPORTS IN AMERICA.  Enjoy. 

                                        

*NCAA FOOTBALL PLAYOFF.  There.  It shall be done.  Why in the heck don't they have the playoff [and gimme an answer besides "bowl money" or "students"]?  Every other division does....and their kids have less of a chance to get into the NFL.  Here ya go:  Invite the champs of the ACC, Big Ten, Big XII, SEC and Pac-10 into the playoff.  Then, have 7 "at large teams" with at least 3 of them from conferences OTHER than the 5 previously mentioned.  12 teams.  4 weeks.  National Champion.

*CHANGE THE FOUL RULES IN HOOPS.  If you screw up in baseball....it is an error.  In football, you get penalized and your mistake is broadcasted by the ref thru the loudspeaker.  In hockey you sit in the penalty box and your team is short a man.  Yet, in basketball.....it saves your butt from getting embarrased.  Fouling is a good thing.  If your man is going for a layup.....foul him so he has to shoot TWO SHOTS from 10 feet further out.  What inthe hell is that?!??!?  Do either one of these things:  (A) wherever you were fouled...you get a free unobstructed shot from that spot or take the normal FT.  Or (B) give an extra FT.  If you were fouled on a dunk.....then let him shoot 3 FTs.  If he is fouled on a 3-pt shot.....he gets 4 FTs.  Why?  Then many of these punk fouls and Hack-A-Shaqs will stop.  The game has become a series of FTs that is broken up by turnovers and 3-pt shots.  This will free it up.  If someone is getting a layup....then a player is more apt to let him go than give up a possible 3 points. 

*MOVE THE NCAA THREE POINT LINE BACK:  Take it to the international line.  The three point line is a freakin' joke.  It's the same length as the ones we all fire from at our local rec centers.  The NCAA hoops game is made up, essentially, of three pointers and layups.  It's rare to find anyone who consistently hits [heck, even takes] jump shots. 

*CHARGE PER ROUND IN BOXING.  Here is a novel idea.  Instead of charging me $55 to watch [first] two chicks fight, [then] two dudes fight that I've never heard of only to see a title fight that goes 2 rounds....just charge me for the rounds of boxing I DID SEE!  Also, how about letting the winner of the fight get the larger purse??  Do a 66%-33% split. 

*DH IN ALL STAR GAME.  The MLB All Star Game is an exhibition....so why have the pitcher's hit??  Well, they really don't since those hitters on the bench come up for them anyways.  So why not just have the DH mandatory at every All Star Game?  Czar says it shall be!

*MLB ALL STAR GAME MEANS NOTHING.  Oh, and while we are at it...the winner of the All Star Game doesn't get home field advantage.  That is the dumbest idea of all time.  Why should the least important game [the All Star game] decide the site of the most important game of the year [World Series game 7]??  And it hasn't helped ratings for the game at all...so what is the point??  The luster of the All Star game went out the window with interleague play. 

*GET RID OF THE NFL ALL PRO GAME.  Sorry that I'm on the All Star tip...but do we need this game to be played??  The game is held one week after the most important sporting day of the year....and no one really cares.  I'm a football NUT and I don't know when was the last time I watched this bore-fest.  Heck, the guys that are named to the team don't even play since they are busy getting work done on their aches and bruises.  Oh, and players from the 20 teams that didn't make the playoffs haven't played for 5-6 weeks!!!! 

*NFL, STOP THE CLOCK AFTER 1ST DOWNS.  Just in the final 5 minutes of each half.  Hey, they do it with the out-of-bounds now....so why not the 1st downs??  One of the cool things about college football is watching a team frantically move down the field in the closing minutes.  NFL games would be even more exciting!!! 

*GET RID OF THE TWO MINUTE WARNING.  Not the blog that I contribute to....but the NFL's 2 minute warning.  If my above proposition comes into effect....do we really need the TMW??  I mean, what is even the point of it?  Is it like a national pee break?  Does it allow the networks to get in all those advertisements that hadn't aired yet?  It is for.........dramatic pause??  Get it out of there!

                      

*LET NBA OFFICIALS WEAR SHORTS TOO.  Most of us have played rec sports...and most remember hoops officials wearing shorts.  In the NBA, players essentially dress in their underwear to play.  So why do the officials have to wear slacks?  Yep...I'm getting old because I just said "slacks".

*MAKE BOXING JUDGES SCORECARDS PUBLIC DURING THE FIGHT.  I don't know why they don't.  Well, except that most boxing secrets are dirty, anyways.  I mean, every other sport has a scoreboard...why not a fight?  And I'm sure you'd get much better action in those last few rounds if one of those guys figures he can't win without a knockout. 

*PUT BYU AND UTAH IN THE PAC-10.  Since it is heading to all these football conferences becoming mega conferences...might as well facilitate it now.  Both of these schools have solid basketball and football programs and would fit the Pac-10 lifestyle of twin teams [Stanford-Cal, UCLA-USC, Zona-Zona State, Wash-Wash St, Oregon-Oregon St].  Then take Boise State from the WAC and slide them in the Mountain West. 

*PUT NOTRE DAME IN BIG TEN.  Why not?  I know the Irish are bent on keeping their tradition alive....but that all changes.  Dude, you are in the same boat as Temple!!!!  The Irish routinely play Michigan, Michigan State and Purdue....why not take on Wisconsin and Illinois too??  With the 12-game schedule coming...they still could keep USC and Navy on their docket.

                            

*SPLIT UP THE BIG EAST.  I know, they haven't even played in the new 16 team format yet.  Well...don't.  It is a bad idea.  How will a 16-team league function??  Oh, yeah...ask the WAC.  Go ahead and create a football league [UConn, WV, Rutgers, Cincy, L'ville, Syracuse, Pitt, USF] and a basketball league [G'town, Nova, Seton Hall, St. John's, Providence, Marquette, DePaul].  If Notre Dame is still in the Big East...put them in the hoops conference.  If they bolt, like I said they should, then get Temple in the conference.  They really don't wanna be in the MAC, do they? 

*MAKE THE "PLAY IN GAME" FEATURE TWO BUBBLE TEAMS.  The NCAA has this "play in" game every year that essentially pits the two worst teams that made the NCAA field in Dayton...with the winner playing a #1 seed.  No fair!!  Those teams got automatic bids into the tournament...they shouldn't have to sit at the kids table!!!  Make those bubble teams we read about [and, errrr, some of us spend a ton of time writing about] have to play that game...with the winner playing a #5 seed in the tournament.  Maybe UAB and No. Iowa should have met in the play in game. 

*NAH....SCREW IT....JUST OPEN THE WHOLE NCAA TOURNAMENT UP.  Go back to the olden days.  I know....we all like the NCAA Tourney like it is.  Well, it is RIDICULOUS that a 7-9 team in the ACC can go to the dance when a team that had some fluke loss in their conference tournament gets denied.  Just include all 320+ teams to the dance.  "Thats crazy!!" you say.  But, ahhhh....they technically DO have such a system by holding these conference tourneys an allowing only the champion to advance to the Big Dance. 

*STOP THE NFL WEATHER REPORTS.  I know, I know....the betters love them.  But the NFL "hates" betters.  Yeah right.  Anyways, I don't need an update on the weather situation in every game.  I'm not sitting there with my phone in my hand and a credit card number ready to lay down a bet if it is sunny in Chicago. 

*MERGE THE MARLINS AND DEVIL RAYS.  Okay, there are two teams in Florida and neither of them are doing too well financially.  So...why not just merge the two??  Keep the name "Florida Marlins" and let them play 41 games in Miami and 40 games in Tampa.  Then place a new franchise in Las Vegas. 

*MAKE THE NBA FIGURE OUT SOME NEW SONGS.  For all those who've attended NBA games...we all know the songs.  The "If your happy and you know it" ditty that plays while your team is bringing up the ball.  The stomping "defense" song.  And what NBA game is complete without the "Mexican hat" song.  Figure out something else!!!

*STOP CALLING YOUR HOME THE "PIT", THE "HOLE" OR THE "JUNGLE".  I just hate those names. 

                          

*STOP WITH THOSE POP UP ADS ON TV.  Look...I know that the Simpsons will be on after the Skins-Giants game.  I mean, the show has been on Fox for 18 years!!!!  I think everyone in America is aware that the Simpson are on at 8pm on Sunday!!!  And I can't wait to see the promo for the Simpson's Treehouse Of Horror XVIII being advertised for 10 weeks.  I mean, how many of us actually watched SPRING BREAK SHARK ATTACK after it popped up 4000 times during the NCAA Tournament??

*ADD EIGHT MORE MLB PLAYOFF TEAMS.  You wanna shut up those small-to-mid market teams??  Add another round of playoffs to give them a shot at the postseason.  If there is anything that the wildcard has shown us is that anyone can win in the playoffs that gets there.  So add another round.  Give those franchises who have steller [for them] years reap the rewards of a playoff berth. 

*SPEAKING OF FOX, STOP PLANTING YOUR SHOW'S STARS IN THE CROWD!  Fox is known for that crap.  Here I am, watching the World Series...and I get a shot of the kids from The OC at the game.  Or...any new show they have coming up.  Do I watch a boxing bout on Showtime and the flash a picture of the gang from Queer As Folk near ringside???  No! 

*GET RID OF THE NBA SLAM DUNK CONTEST.  It has run it's course and it no longer is exciting.  Unless you place a $5M prize for it....no respectable dunker will even enter the thing.  Remember, this is the primadonna NBA where everyone thinks they are the best player in the league.  It meant something when I was a teenager, but now it is retreads of old dunks.  And since the new dunkers are more athletic...it even makes the old dunkers look lame.  I mean, we saw the white Brent Barry do the Michael Jordan and Dr. J "free throw line dunk". 

*MAKE THE ROAD TEAM JERSEYS HAVE THE CITY'S NAME ON IT.  I know, most do already.  But it should be law. 

*MAKE DUKE-NORTH CAROLINA A NATIONAL HOLIDAY.  Okay, that's just for me. 

*CHANGE THE BALTIMORE RAVENS LOGO.  Look....you guys got cool colors [black and purple], a cool gothic name and a cool team.  So why is there a magpie on your helmet??  Oh, because it was better that the B with wings you originally had.  Look, Ray Lewis doesn't need that thing on his helmet. 

                        

*MAKE MLB MANAGERS WEAR NORMAL CLOTHES.  Why on Earth do managers wear jerseys??  NBA coaches look like they are heading off to a business meeting.  NFL coaches look like, well, NFL coaches.  So why do baseball skippers have to goo into those tight pants and jersey??  Imagine Rick Majerus wearing a hoops uni on the sideline??  Or Mike Shanahan with a helmet and pads on.  It is stupid. 

*WHY DON'T WE HAVE A TOUR D'AMERICA?  Maybe because cycling doesn't play well here....but why not have a cycling tour here?  It can start in Boston and end in San Francisco or something.  I mean, in the Tour de France, all we get to see is "french countryside" which is like saying "corn fields" over here.  We could name it the "Cannonball Run"....and instead of a yellow jersey, they could be able to drink their water from a pimp cup. 

*BAN GARTH BROOKS AND KEVIN COSTNER FROM SPRING TRAINING.  We get it...you love baseball.  But stop taking coaches time from real baseball players by having your own fantasy camp.  Move on. 

*PENALIZE THE PLAYERS....NOT THE TEAM.  This goes for college sports.  When an NCAA rule has been broken, punish those responsible....not the ones who had nothing to do with it.  Sorta like the whole Kelvin Sampson thing.  Sampson is being punished...which hurts new employer Indiana [who knew this could come up, so their butts don't deserve to be covered].  And punish those at Oklahoma who were in on the dupe and the ones that turned their eyes to what was going on.  But don't punish the kids who didn't do anything wrong. 

*BRING BACK DOUBLE HEADERS.  Baseball needs to go ahead and schedule double headers...and not those "twi night" ones either.